Friday, October 17, 2014

Time for a Spooky Tail

everyday snapshot - IV  ladies of the roundtable I

As I have mentioned before, I managed a creative team made up entirely of all young ladies. One of the fringe benefits of this situation, was hearing many secret stories and honest conversations that I probably otherwise would not have been privy to. With that as background and the fact that it will soon be the haunting hour with witches and zombies and sexy kittens galore; who's ready for an early Halloween Spooky Tail?


Not so long ago, Chelsea, one of the girls on my creative team was retelling her spooky tale of a Halloween past. The other department girls listened attentively like little ones around a campfire. I listened like a camp director impatient for lights out.

"It was a dark and stormy night…" she began.

                 "Really?! A dark and stormy night…seriously?" a dismayed comment and an exaggerated eye roll from one of the other girls shot her down just as she began.

Ignoring the gesture, Chelsea continued on.

"My Mom was away for the week and wanted me to house-sit. So I left work late and drove out of town on Friday to her house off of Old Redwood Road; out in the hills. You know, out in the middle of nowhere. I hate driving up there as is, but driving those deserted curvy roads during a dark stormy night sucks."

"Wait. Did it even rain that Friday - let alone storm?" Same girl interrupted impatiently; annoyed at not being the usual center of attention.

"Excuse me, this is MY story," Chelsea shot back. "OK Where was I?"

"Yes, despite the intense traffic and the thundering rain, I made it there just as the sun was setting. As I pulled up the driveway the rain was coming down pretty hard as I realized I had forgotten both my coat and umbrella at home. I made a dash to the trunk to grab my VS weekender bag as torrents of rain came down over me. I tip-toed through the mud as quickly as possible, which wasn't very fast at all. My Maddens kept sinking into the mud as I tried not to slip and kill myself.

I made it to the front door safely, but soaking wet from head to toe. I put the key in the front door and before I could turn it I realized the door was unlocked as it slowly creaked open. I was suddenly scared; had someone broken in? Was someone still there?  

I flipped the light switch, but nothing happened. The power must have been lost due to the storm.

 Anyone home? ALO!' I yelled out, to the planned empty house, but only my echo replied.

Suddenly, I heard a crash and I jumped as I saw something scurrying towards me out of the darkness! 
I turned to run, but my heels slid on the wet hardwood floor causing me to bang into the back of the door. I screamed!  And then...I felt something brush against my bare legs...I closed my eyes and literally pissed myself I was so scared. I screamed again; louder! "

"Oh ma gawd! What was it?!"  All the girls screeched in unison.

"...I peeked down and realized it was only Mom's cat. 

I scooped up the cat and headed towards the master bath calming myself down along the way. It was nothing. It was nothing, but the cat, I told myself. My Mom must have forgotten to lock the front door.

So as you know my Mom's crazy vain and has all those mirrors all over the house, so I thought I would be safe anyways as I would easily see anyone approaching me.

But the scary thing is as I'm walking, I feel this constant presence… behind me…like someone is following me…

I turn around every so often, look over my shoulder, but don't see anything…except ...I could swear it is as if someone just ducks out of site every time I turn around. I'm shivering by this point from both fear and from being soaked through all my clothes. 

As soon as I get in the bathroom, I slam the door shut, put down the cat and hike up my drenched dress and begin to peel down my wet panties. As I am about to sit down, I glance over my shoulder at the full length mirror and….I see something!"

                  "What?! What?!" the girls are going crazy at this point with anticipation.

"I freak out, jump up but my panties are rolled tight around my thighs so I move right and I trip. I try to catch myself as I fall and luckily land on all fours. 

I take a deep breath and nervously and slowly turn around and look into the mirror to come face to face with..."

 "With what?! What?!"

"...with what I now know I have been seeing all along... It was my butt!
IT was what was following me around! It was what I was seeing in the mirrors.

My big ol' duck butt!  
I suffer from Duck Butt!"


Funny? or Scary?
Hope you laughed as much as we did and didn't see that coming in the least. We surely didn't. 

I love that story for so many reasons. I'll let you guess what those may be.

So do any of you dear readers, ladies of course, suffer from "Duck Butt"
Or have you ever heard of Duck Butt before?

Well, as full disclosure, I had not previously. As Chelsea went on to explain (not that she needed to, for if you knew her, her profile would suffice), Duck Butt is that perky butt that sticks out like a duck. Similar to or perhaps others definition of a bubble butt, but definitely fuller, yet not huge or oversize. Ample and perky…and delicious.

Hope this visual helps:


Although this may be a better example image:

As always your comments are very much appreciated as well as your vote.
Ladies again this poll is geared towards you all; but Gentlemen feel free to vote on the last two options. 


Autumn said...

HAHA! This is the first time I've ever heard of someone referring to their butt as "duck butt!" I have definitely never been scared by my own butt--it must not be big enough. Oh well!

Enzo said...

Yup Duck Butt ! - can't you just picture it though?
As I said I had never heard of the expression before either.

Well, It is a true story and it always makes me laugh when I think about it and her. True story as in that is the story she told us.

Thanks Autumn.