A Secret, an Update & a Revelation.

Honestly, I can't believe it has been so long since my last post. Well time flies when you are knee-deep dealing with life, right? An almost full range of life issues have been served up, if only to serve as the reminder that the only thing constant is change. 


...............

An Update
To reiterate, I had every intention of writing sooner, but having my standard of quality over quantity I held back at various opportunities due to limited time. I am forever in awe of bloggers, like Hermione to single out a star student, who manage to post multiple times a week and on consistent schedules. That is an amazing feat and harder than you might think. I am rethinking my standards now and think perhaps an image here and an image there sprinkled with a few observations might be enough to keep your attention; otherwise I fear losing you during these long post gaps. That being said, that proposed new recipe only has potential if anyone is still reading here; which I hope you are. Hello?



...............
A Secret
So here is a little secret if you are interested. Did I ever tell you about a coworker of mine, whom I shall refer to as Chelsea? 

No? Are you sure? I thought I might have.
 
Regardless; it was a long time ago or so it seems; ages ago or at least 7 years past. This young lady was full of feminine charm, manners and ways. Since we were both managers to a group of even younger greens we often worked closely. We were the same age and perhaps more similar in ways than I had given thought to at the time. Despite our different backgrounds, her often normally prudish ways were stripped away when we were together and relaxed amongst the team.

Although she used to send soft flirtatious signals freely and often; since we were both in serious relationships, I seldom paid the coquettish ways little attention. Unfortunately she was married to an army buddy type who was her mirror opposite and on top of that he reflected a masculine charm best suited for long covert missions deep in the desert - alone.

I often was neither aware of some of her flirtations, nor even realized her actions were obvious to others. That is until one day when the entire team was lunching together. Chelsea seemingly out of nowhere reached for my hand across the table. Holding my hand in hers she began examining and complementing my "long, thick, artistic fingers" eventually pulling and tugging at my middle finger. I thought nothing of it more than simple innocent complements. I was entirely oblivious until one of our coworkers shot out loud "Chelsea!"; shocked as she witnessed Chelsea jerking off my finger.

Take that incident as one example and track down all the other flirtations and perhaps there was more than met the eye. There definitely was if you flash forward a few months after the happy digit incident. We were riding the elevator together just the two of us as she complained and moaned, pouting about her rough day. As we neared our floor she let out her wish, "Gawd, sometimes when I have had enough, when I am frustrated that nothing is going right, I just want to throw myself on the floor in a big temper tantrum."

Without skipping a beat, I advised the obvious "Well you know there is only one effective consequence for behaving like a brat and throwing a temper tantrum..."

She cut me off and smiled nervously "I know and I would be okay with that! I'm okay with it!"

I stopped in my tracks and my heart nearly leapt out of my chest in excitement. Could she be on the same page as I? Could it be that she was into spanking, just like me?! I froze and didn't carry the conversation any further perhaps out of utter disbelief.

Unfortunately, even though the flirtations continued on, new jobs eventually split our paths. I never found out for certain, but I would venture to guess based on so many clues, that she was like-minded.

If I knew then what I know now, would I have taken a different route in my relationship?
Would their have been a joint path?  I still keep in touch vaguely, but she is remarried now.  

Defining the secret clearly, the secret being that I have never shared that elevator story with anyone except for once when I told...

...............
A Revelation
That brings me to my Revelation, a revelation that I was finally able to see clearly and actually fully verbalize to myself yesterday.

Simply stated:

I am heartbroken. 

Yes. It is true.

My long term relationship, that I have mentioned often here; that relationship as I know it is over and I am heartbroken.

Sorry to disappoint the "manly" readers out there or the readers who think men should not share softer emotions, but just stating my facts; my current reality. Feel free to unfollow now.

 
Last night, I tried to distract myself by drowning my sorrows in visions of Chelsea over my knee. The girl had an ample delicious bottom; the originator of the term 'Duck Butt' if you remember my previous references. 

I just imagine how her ample, pale bottom, bouncy and thick would look with her pale-blue, overstretched panties fighting a losing battle to keep her modesty. The high feminine material of utter transparency would hide nothing and instead highlight the deep crease of her well formed cheeks. At the office, over my knee with her tight skirt pulled high, and panties eventually lowered ever so slowly to half-mast simply to add to the humiliation (and excitement). All before my hand would slap down on her cold pale cheeks in a crescendo of skin on skin contact.

Yes, a truly beautiful vision, but it doesn't seem to help that much. Regardless it is still a nice momentary distraction. And after all aren't momentary distractions why we are here to begin with?