Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Truly Embarrassing: Truly Disappointing

Part of what I hope to bring you on this blog, as I mentioned on the initial post, is my admiration of the beauty of the female form and all things associated with it in the context of the everyday with hopes of being reminiscent of the charm associated with pinup girls of days gone by (and - unfortunately - way before my time). 

I plan to feature a "Current Affairs" section, which on occasion may refer to celebrities, but allow me to make perfectly clear that I am not a celebrity junkie in the least. However, like everyone else in the free world it is hard to hide from the celebrity media onslaught disguised as "news" as hard as we may try. 

Moving forward, that brings me to the lovely young lady pictured here. If you immediately recognized her than you are indeed a celebrity junkie. I will not judge you - to each her own….hmmm....really?   For the rest of us take a closer look…any idea who this cutie is? …singer…songwriter….of legal age currently and in these pictures (* I need to state that just for the record)….country star….any idea?

OK, It is Taylor Swift. If that name means nothing to you I suggest you need to step away from the McDoubleDouble Extra Value Meal, put down the handful of fries and get out more often, but while you self deliberate that, here is a link to help you out. 

If you know about her you know she is praised as the more wholesome alternative pop star to some of the other more easily recognizable (due to quite a bit of questionable scenarios and poor judgement on their behalves) pop tarts -I mean pop stars- like Britney, Christina and the rest. Why still others may think Taylor Swift is the demise of the feminist movement all I will say is perhaps she is the balance to all the other pop stars. For me, one admirable thing about her is she does seem true to her "girly" character and it all seems to be Her rather than a persona made up by the music industry. 

With that I am sure you have heard about her slight misfortune that was all over the celebrity news and pseudo-news (I am looking at you Yahoo!) due to an onstage wind-machine at her recent concert. She apparently was unaware of the location of the wind-machine and walked almost over it only to have her dress windblown revealing her panties (yes she was wearing underwear). Why do I bring THIS particular celebrity "embarrassing" moment up when there seems to be plenty of celebrity upskirt stories in the news? 

Well for one thing, this one seemed genuine to me due in part to her reaction and not a celebrity "oops". Unlike other celebrities who seem to have a hard time remembering to put on underwear in the morning, our girl Taylor checked that off her list before going on stage.

Being the girly girl she seems to be I am sure she was mortified that she revealed so much on stage …or did she?  Click on the image if the animation does not auto activate.

I like that little animation don't you? but I was shocked. Taylor what are you wearing??!! Your embarrassment should not be at having your dress wind blown, but due to the fact that you reveled those…those……what are those?

Taylor, young lady, you ruined a perfectly good, possibly award winning modern pinup moment by wearing huge grannie panties! What are these? Let's take a closer look - roll the still shot please:

Whoa - those seem to go up way past your waist. This does not fit your girly feminine persona not to mention anything of your age. I am now truly disappointed as I was expecting to see your cute panties. Sheer light blue panties to compliment your dress....or even sheer white girly panties.....or perhaps even full on cutiesy Hello Kitty panties....or maybe even a sea of illustrated cherries stretched across those cute cheeks on a light mint green satin field… get the picture. 

Oh the potential…. LOST...

Taylor the more I think about it the more disappointed I become. I look for an an answer, an explanation, …and as I look closer I just realized something. Perhaps they aren't granny panties at all! Even worse, are those Spanx you are wearing??!! Spanx; Really?! (Click here if you don't know what I am referring to) 

Well, I know one thing for sure and that is that they are in fact indicative of what you need at this moment for not wearing proper panties and ruining a perfectly memorable pinup moment and fuel for so many good dreams. Apparently you read the memo wrong Taylor; please reread and pay close attention to spelling. 

Yup that is what you need, please allow me to demonstrate the proper type of "spanks" you really need!

Monday, August 22, 2011

End of the Summer Season, Time to Focus: Welcome Back Policy

Something to brighten your Monday morning:

- End of the "warm" summer season
- Back to school sales
- The slow build up of everyday commuter traffic
- Last rush of tourists to my fair city
All the seemingly minor yet apparent signs that summer is "officially" coming to an end.  Another sign, yet not as easily apparent, is the return of the office workers from summer breaks. I read a post over at another blog speaking of finding the right motivation to come back to work and focus. Which of course led me down the following path of thought...

In my office and the creative department of young ladies I manage there is often one girl or another on vacation due in part to the age range and personalities of my staff. These young ladies always seem to require more than a few days to get back into reality after their holidays. I would love to implement a "Welcome Back Policy" in my department. Upon a girl's Monday morning return to work after a relaxing time off, it would be my responsibility, as their immediate supervisor of course, to gather all the girls in the office around the conference table first thing in the morning prior to the morning coffee run in order to implement this policy.

The recently returned young lady would be asked to come forward, still sleepy (having quickly become accustomed to sleeping in and still tired from the lack of the morning caffeine jolt) and stand in front of a jury of her peers so to speak, or as she would later describe as standing in front of "a group of jealous bitches". 

She would be ordered to bend over the polished oval conference table and pull up her recently purchased light, strappy summer dress (a splurge purchase for her recent holiday) then a preliminary proper tan check would be conducted by one of the other girls.(Since this is an office environment, certain other policies would be in place and I probably would not be allowed to pull down her panties of course. However, since this girl was accustomed to wearing thongs, nothing  much would be lost.)

Once the girl received several disengenuine compliments on her newly acquired holiday tan from her jealous coworkers, I would begin giving the blushing young lady her first round  of spanks; one per vacation day. After five very stinging spanks with the plastic flexible red ruler, the question and spank session would begin. Each of the other girls would be allowed to ask her one vacation related question and would spank her bottom upon her reply.
"Did your boyfriend love that little purple bikini you told us about that you purposely bought in a size too small?" 

"He loved it of course." Slap! - No sooner would she answer than the spank come down on her. These half dozen spanks were merely the "warm ups" as the next set of questions and spanks were the ones the jealous coworkers really looked forward to.

These were work related questions who's answers were often hard to recall. The girls choose especially hard questions acting out of jealousy thinking how they had been were working hard while their coworker was lounging around on the beach. "What did you you call that computer file that has all the images for the designer paint ad?"

Of course after a week off this would not readily come to mind and the recently returned girl would be punished with hard spanks, slap, slap, slap...on her tight bottom until she remembered
Upon answering, the respite would be short as the next girl would step up and offer a seemingly as hard question. This would continue around the room until all coworkers had an opportunity at revenge….I mean an opportunity to have their work questions answered.

After all had a turn and the final question answered, the recently returned girl would be sent out of the office to fetch everyone's morning cappuccinos and lattes rubbing her bottom all the way and blushing all the while wondering how many office workers and pedestrians on the street would know of the welcome back greeting her pert, and currently throbbing, bottom had just received.

So who would be in favor of such an office policy?