Monday, March 12, 2018

Daylight Savings Time: Revisted

I searched the archives to bring you this little treat. I originally published this in my early blogging days. Not sure if any of you would remember it, but I am re-sharing it now, updated and edited in hopes of it brightening your day. Please let me know if it does just that.

Daylight Savings Time – you either love it, hate it or simply fail to understand it. Regardless of your overall opinion of it, if you live in North America and reside in the majority of the US states then you are required to observe it. 

The Monday following the "spring forward" government enforced routine is always an interesting day. The morning commute in particular stands out as something out of the routine with the subway commute crowd being easily categorized into three camps. 

The first being the yawners, a group missing their sleep so desperately they are yawning from Point A to Point B continuously. If this wasn't bad enough, the effect (an issue that scientists have yet to explain properly) is contagious yawing running rampant. You end up with a disconcerting scene; a train full of commuters seemingly impatiently waiting widemouthed for their dental exams. However, the silver lining of this is the occasional feminine sleepy-head whose widemouth creates a tempting visual. 

The second group is the grumps; deeply bitter about being up an hour earlier and choose to take it out on all those they encounter. Someone has taken something from them and they want it back. No amount of caffeine seems to tame their beasts within. Just steer clear. Granted there are always other remedies for the sleep-deprived bitchiness.

The final group is the pokeys. This group is habitually late as is, but now toss in Daylight Saving Time into the equation and they are then thrown into a full tailspin. The pokeys are usually characterized by young ladies who barely managed to get out the door and onto the train; but finish up their morning routines onboard. This routine which consists of switching from random, first pair seen shoes into office heels, to putting on miscellaneous accessories and concluding with the art of applying full makeup on a moving vehicle. (This traveling applying of makeup has always worried me…an unexpected bump or sudden stop on the train and these girls will poke their eyes out.) All primping done in a race against the clock, how much can be done before their train stop. This group is my personal favorite and exemplified by the young ladies in my office for with a bit of guidance I think they can learn. Or perhaps not.


Experience has taught me to prepare myself for the impending office disaster of late arrivals on the morning after Daylight Savings Time. Today I am well prepared. In fact, I have done extra sets of reps to get my arms nice and prepped. In fact, I also worked on my swing yesterday in preparation for this morning. 

Why you ask?

As my creative department of young ladies either drag themselves in a disheveled mess 30 minutes tardy or rush in 90 minutes late, they will all have one thing in common by the end of the day. 

What is that you ask?

Not the non-fat lattes half finished before coming into the office.
Not the mismatched shoes or half tucked-in blouses.

They will all have paid a visit to my office where they will have been served a well earned firm reminder to not dare be late tomorrow.

"He is not in a good mood. He bent me over my desk 
the minute I walked into the office.
Another reason I hate having a cubicle; 
anyone could have seen me! 

Now, I don't even want to pull up my pantyhose, or even sit down -
I'm afraid it will hurt too much."

"Sorry hon, but yeah, he spanked me too! 
Once for every minute I was late! 
30 minutes, 30 swats - it felt like forever!
My ass is throbbing.

Yeah, Jennifer is in there with him now. 
Poor thing I can hear her screaming from way out here!
I don't know why, but have you noticed he is always extra hard on her."

"Owww! Owww - it stings!
Yessss... I will set my alarm early! 
Stop....Owww...Ii...wwon't forget!
Owww.....please stop, it hurts so much!

"At least we are all in dress code!
Wait till Lesley comes in she always forgets to wear tights!"
"Oh yeah, so true!
That always gets him fuming.
Imagine being late AND not wearing tights...

Yeah, she is going to definetly get the worst of it.
Damm, her ass is going to throbbing from here 'til next Monday!"


"You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Yes Lesley.
Hmm, actually I thought we only needed to 
discuss you being 90 minutes late.
However, in your lack of haste to get here on time today, 
you also somehow neglected to put on your PANTY–hose.

Fortunately, I have some managerial techniques to share with you
that will undoubtedly help with your overall absentmindedness."


So who was late this morning? Anyone? Really?

I do hope you enjoyed that ever so brief story and don't forget to vote or comment, it really only takes a second.

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