Thursday, June 25, 2015

Warning Shot over the Stern!

"Consider that your warning shot over the stern, young lady!"

I know, I know. 
Yes, I am well aware that is not the correct term. Just wanted to acknowledge that before you nautical and/or military buffs get all up in arms. That is if there are any of you out there reading this blog. Perhaps Bogey or Devlin (if he even visits here) would have caught the incorrect word. Perhaps there are other ex-military readers out there, perhaps even some former or even current service women reading...

I digress yet again.

For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, allow me to explain. In question is my incorrect use of a word in the phrase above. I am sure you have have heard the correct term before, at least in a movie; a warning shot over the bow.

Technically a "bow" is the front of a ship and I wouldn't strike a lady's face. However that being said; I have no problem striking her bottom; a.k.a. her "stern". 

Following?

Yes - good.

No? 

Not important.


What is important is the mood you wake up in the morning and the mood you leave the house to start your day. It is what you carry forward and what sets the tone for your day.

When figuring that the dry-cleaning hasn't been picked up and laundry has not been done, a gentle nudge is always the manner a gentleman approaches these first morning situations. When no verbal response is detected and covers are pulled over her head in a grumpy protest, the answer to those questions can easily be guessed.

When certain young ladies, having neglected their chores the night before, rather than waking early to remedy the situation, and instead actually add to the bubbling frustration. Adding to the bubbling frustration by sleeping in and ignoring at least the opportunity for an explanatory conversation over a quick breakfast (not even asking as much as a cooked and warm breakfast, mind you), then moods shifts quickly.

That is when the gentle nudging is replaced by the sudden whipping back of blankets and sheets. As she curls up on all fours in reaction to the sudden disappearance of warm blankets and in anxious preparation to what is assumed to be coming only moments away. 

Instead there is a momentary standstill as time ticks away and frustration grows.


.........................

"Unfortunately, no time to deal with you now 
otherwise I will be late; 
as I now need to find something presentable to wear to the office. 

Look at me when I talk to you.

This does not mean you are off free and clear. 

No.

Limited time only offers you 
a limited reprieve, young lady.


[SLAP!]

Consider that, your warning shot over the stern, young lady!


That singular, reverberating impact
should keep you warm and throbbing!
 And more importantly, keep you focused.
Focused on what you need to get done throughout the day.

Clean up this place and yourself, before I get back; understood?

 Otherwise, I'll be cleaning up your attitude
via a repeated pounding message to your ass."

.......................

I have not been in a good mood at work all week. On top of that, add in the fact that I apparently have been in a low tolerance type of mood; all concludes that I undoubtedly need a vacation. A long vacation; outdoors ideally. A weekend getaway could possibly suffice. 

What about you? Whose ready for summer? Anyone else having trouble staying focused?

2 comments:

Our Bottoms Burn said...

I thought it was a fine turn of phrase. But, certain to be lost on the current generation who have massive college debt, but no education.

Enzo said...

Thanks Bogey!
As I said I thought you would know what I was talking about.