Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Pre Holiday Break: The Gift Bag Note

(UPDATED 12/28)
Hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and if you are like me, which I believe you to be like most honest people, you are breathing a sign of relief that the major holiday hurdle is now over. Even though the holiday season lingers for a few days it is all down hill from here in regards to the pressures and stresses bestowed upon us during this blessed yuletide season. With that, I will now catch you up on some recent holiday events.


In the creative department that I manage, full of young creative ladies, we tend to work up to the days before the holiday break, in order to meet some tight deadlines. This year, once again, originally entailed us working a half day on Christmas Eve in order to stay on schedule and get our projects out. As you can imagine the energy was restless as everyone, myself included, was more than anxious to get things done and ourselves out the door. 

Keep in mind that the days following Thanksgiving begins my seasonal duty of trying to keep the ladies focused and on track through December. Their collective thoughts are on holiday shopping, holiday parties, holiday dresses and on holiday dates. I, your dear narrator, has been appointed this task which equates to basically herding cats or as I like to say keeping cats on task.  

The restlessness is understandable; however let me explain a bit more about the reason for our unnecessary predicament of having to work a full day and later this year! Having to work up to the bitter end prior to the holiday break was brought upon in particular by one young lady who was, to use her own words, "especially slacking". Long story short, let us just say a hard lesson was taught that afternoon.

I am sure anyone in my situation would have done the same as my patience was at wits' end and consequently I lost my temper. Before you accuse me of being a sort of scrooge, be aware that I felt a bit of remorse after the fact. In fact, as is my tradition, as the lovely young ladies departed late that day I handed them each an individually selected gift bag. Moments before their united departure, I quickly scribbled the following note of explanation onto the holiday card that I dropped into the gift bag of the young lady who had been the surprised recipient of my frustration hours earlier.

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Dear Caitlyn,

I hope you understand my actions as I am most certain you won't soon forget them. Had you done as I had told you all month long and focused on your work I am sure this most likely wouldn't have happened. 

Perhaps my only regret is that I should have given you a warning before I finally took matters into my own hands. Unfortunately, it was that midmorning coffee break that you found so necessary to take that ultimately led to things breaking; including my patience. As irritated by that coffee break that I was, I was actually willing to let it slide even though you knew we wanted to spend every moment in the office being productive, rather than spending an extended half hour break wasted waiting for your nonfat-eggnog latte with 2 pumps hazelnut, 2 pumps vanilla, 2 pumps caramel, sugared, filled to the top with cream, and double cupped with no sleeve, that you just had to have. 

That put me on edge, but what finally caused me to break was when you came back with that concoction of an overpriced drink and placed it carelessly on top of the table. Then you proceeded to twirl around and show off your holiday dress once again to your coworkers (the fourth time that morning) and in the process knock over that "venti" cup. Yet there may still have been hope of keeping me from entirely going over the edge had the sticky glop of a drink only gone over the table; but when it spilled all over and saturated the 200-page plus sample catalog of color copies that had taken us about 2 days to print -- that is when I lost it…..

What I am really trying to say is that although I am NOT sorry I spanked your ass red and broke my plastic ruler on your bottom  in the process, but rather that I should have possibly thought twice about pulling up your holiday dress and bending you over the color printers in front of all your coworkers! (Oh and as far as ripping your festive red panties in the process of pulling them down.... honestly that isn't entirely my fault.... that sheer material doesn't hold up very well now does it? and really with sheerness like that you might as well have been bare assed!) 

My slight regret and only regret is perhaps I should have waited 'till they left. However, you must admit they all seemed rather eager for you to receive your punishment and none spoke up in your defense as I swung that ruler on your very pert and very pale bottom counting out the strokes; one per ruined catalog page. OK, I must admit I did enjoy seeing your pouting, shocked face as you closed your eyes and simultaneously gripped my leg every time that ruler came down on your cheeks (cheeks framed nicely with your garters and thigh highs). And had I carried out your punishment alone you would not have been subjected to the added embarrassment of seeing smiles and hearing gracious giggles from the ladies when I finally cracked that ruler upon your tight ass.

But on the bright side (much like your bottom) I am sure this all served as a good lesson to you (and the others)! Perhaps at tonight's company holiday party you take time to reconsider all your selfish actions of the past day, especially the nonsense about showing off your new dress next time; yes perhaps you will have plenty of time to  sit and   think about your actions. 

P.S.

I hope you enjoy the gift. If you stick to your new year's resolutions, perhaps I may not need to show you how it works.


Comments as always are Welcome! 
Also does anyone know the origin of this image 
and if there is more to this set?

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

An Open Letter: A Gentleman's Conundrum

I have removed this post for fear that certain people reading it may have read into it more that its actual intent and therefore missing its primary intent - entertainment.

If you remember the original post and had an opinion of that story, would love to hear you opinion, one way or another; please post.